I ponder the next state of life -- retirement and an empty nest. Even before COVID, I suffered from melancholy feelings, mild anxiety and loneliness. The pandemic further fueled these questions about how to age gracefully. I recall my parents, in-laws, and friends' parents as they aged. I wonder the best way to live these retirement years. My life has always been about building a career, providing for family, or saving for the future. To be honest, I am tired of responsibility. I question if our culture's "nuclear family" and "capitalism" leads to isolation for older adults in single family homes. Studies show how hard it is to develop new friendships as we get older.
During COVID, I found joy in playing board games, even with people I just met. I like being around people, the background noise of conversation, even if I am quiet by nature. My new philosophy, which I hope to practice is to play, dance, sing, draw, create, participate -- and not worry about whether I am "good" enough.
Currently, I am interested in cohousing--intentionally being connected to my neighbors in spaces designed to facilitate community. The older people (leading the cohousing development) have time to share, whereas younger adults, still raising a family, are often too busy with day-to-day responsibilities. Our culture is immersed in productivity, that we can't simply be together -- as in our youth, I remember my teenage days "hanging out" in the motorhome with Henry and Darryl. I wonder if co-housing can be like that again--although I know its no panacea. It is the serendipitous daily encounter with neighbors in shared spaces designed to connect people. Those interested in cohousing seek community.
Pearl has her reservations. Maybe cohousing can be our second home. Maybe we can split our time between Davis and West Sacramento. While cohousing need not be permanent, it can be a valuable option that enhance our lives, just as the cabin served its purpose for many years.
