A Whirlwind of Activities

Caleb, Mae, and I attended a Kings game on Wednesday. On Thursday, I had breakfast with Arlene and Shirley for my birthday. Afterwards, Pearl and I watched the broadway Moulin Rouge. I was moved by the popular music. Next, I played Piano at Odd Fellows, then afterwards had dinner with Caleb, Rachel, and Pearl. On Friday and Saturday, I attend two full days of Schwab conferences on technical analysis and options. Driving it all day into downtown Sacramento (9-4:30pm) felt like comuting to work. I'm interested in a covered call strategy for additional income for stocks I'm willing to sell for diversification purposes. It's been a long time since I had a full workday, conference like setting. Afterwards, was Joyce Trujillo's celebration of life.

My birthday came and went. I played piano terribly as the musician at my first formal Odd Fellows meeting. On Friday, we had take out dinner (Lisa, Henry & family, plus Pearl, Caleb, Philip and Mae) to celebrate, followed by a Camel Up game with Lisa, Henry, Philip, and I. The next day, Pearl, Mae and I visited Elias at UCB. At night, I felt strangely alone as Pearl was ushering. I attended a local concern at Watermelon Music and to my delight saw Tony (an Odd Fellow) and Sara from UCC. The next day, I played piano for 2 hours at the Chocolate Festival. Wow, it was busy! Several guests complimented my playing, which made me feel better after my earlier setback. Tonight and tomorrow, I am hosting poker games with UCC and soccer friends.

It's been a year since I retired. If I were to describe retirement is one word, it would be PLAY. For exercise, I ride my bike everyday, do simple calisthenics, and play pickup / recreation soccer weekly. For mental gymnastics, I play chess, mahjong, poker, and board games regularly. Plus, I write code and manage the Quacera database. For community connections, I attend church and Odd Fellows every week and volunteer piano at retirement homes or nonprofit events. For social connections, I have a meal or attend a Kings game with friends every week. And each month, I usually attend a local concert and take a short trip to SF, Berkeley, or a nearby city. I'm happy to be part of the Rebekahs. It's a fun social group that does good work in the community.

I attended the Odd Fellows Installation dinner and enjoyed a sense of belonging. It's feels good to feel part of an organization. I've been trying to host and start social poker groups. Maybe that is part of my purpose: to bring people together. Caleb is home from Thailand. It was nice to have dinner with our full family, plus Rachel and her parents. Elias is heading back to UCB today. Christmas break is over. I've been learning about Amtrak Rail Passes. I think I would enjoy traveling on a train. Philip shared more about his girlfriend and his work at the Senate. It sounds like he is enjoying this new challenge. Mae is getting more babysitting hours.

Loss of Identity

I need to acknowledge the loss of identity associated with retirement. I have spent decades building a valuable expertise. I emailed the Assembly and wanted to evangelize custom software development in the legislature. I wholehearted believe in the value of this technology and the power of these tools, yet I was unable to convince the Assembly. With this setback, I realize how I miss being an "expert". While I love retirement, I would be remiss if I didn't accept that it is also a loss. I now fill this gap with building social connections and playing with friends (poker, soccer, mahjong, chess, piano).

I realize that I still need to let go of this prior identity in order to embrace a new one.

Santa Cruz, Kings, and Poker

We travelled to the Santa Cruz area and hiked in Felton, Aptos,and UCSC. The Kings are doing terrible and but still fun to go to the games. This was the first time this season that I saw the Beam! Winter poker with Soccer friends was a success. I'm trying to start a new group with UCC friends.

Know Thyself

I emailed the Assembly with an offer to build a small payroll subsystem. The results should not be surprising. In deep thought, I contemplate a reply -- my goal to "convince" this potential customer -- to make the sale.

I need to take a step back, a deep breath, and a long exhale. Instead of rationalizing work, I hope to use this opportunity to learn about myself. For many days, I was engulfed in work. Thinking, imagining, pacing, searching for a solution. My identity and self-worth were synonymous with the busyness, social adoration, and consumption of work.

As I take a step back, I ask myself, why? I am retired. The ego beckons, I need to let it be, let it go, to empty myself of these ambitions, which only lead to discontent. Social connections, friendships, kindness, trust is the more genuine path.

Christmas

This year, Christmas was a whirlwind. We celebrated Christmas Eve with our immediate family. Christmas Day started at Richard and Irene's house, then we hung out at Edna and Dave's place, before going to Chris and Leah's house.

Pearl visited Lisa in Red Bluff with Christine and Susan. I enjoyed time with Mae and Elias at home. I especially enjoyed lunch in West Sacramento with Caleb. We chatted about the wedding, work, and life. Philip is traveling in Southern California. The weather has been continous rain, fog, and overcast. The New Year was quiet, as I fell asleep at my usually time.