I emailed the Assembly with an offer to build a small payroll subsystem. The results should not be surprising. In deep thought, I contemplate a reply -- my goal to "convince" this potential customer -- to make the sale.
I need to take a step back, a deep breath, and a long exhale. Instead of rationalizing work, I hope to use this opportunity to learn about myself. For many days, I was engulfed in work. Thinking, imagining, pacing, searching for a solution. My identity and self-worth were synonymous with the busyness, social adoration, and consumption of work.
As I take a step back, I ask myself, why? I am retired. The ego beckons, I need to let it be, let it go, to empty myself of these ambitions, which only lead to discontent. Social connections, friendships, kindness, trust is the more genuine path.
Navigating the currents of life... the hopes and dreams of building a family...married with 4 kids... living in a university town... middle-aged and growing older... all forms of bicycling (recumbent, fixed gear, road, xtracycle)... christus victor theology... left slanted politics... being Asian American... trying to make our world a better place for all... the hope of caring for the least among us... Jesus as a revolutionary...Cancer Survivor... Loving all things Code
Tuesday, January 6, 2026
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