Meditation and the Mind

Nothing has meaning in life, except the meaning we give it....

I've been reading and learning about the mind, specifically, the default mode network (DMN) of our brain and how it activates during our unconscious, wondering mind. It's that feeling when we have been driving on a common road and tune out.  Suddenly, we "wake up" and can't recall the last stretch of miles we just passed.  During this time, we day dream about the future or reminisce about our past. We simulate what if scenarios about our life, decision, goals, and regrets.  This DMN builds our notion of self, reinforcing our belief in ego, by connecting our individualism with our identity over time .  Often the critical voice in our head, which wonders what we could have done better.  Or, the seemingly harmless daydream projecting our desires.

On the other hand, when deeply focused, our brain switches to the Task Positive Network (TPM) which highlights the outside world -- the task before us.  Here we work with our hands or focus our minds.  We are connected to the many sights immediately before us, the background noises that we often dismiss, and the feel of the sunshine on our faces.  Essentially, we are connected to our senses.  Mediation develops TPM as we practice mindfulness by focusing on the breath.  Meditation rebuilds the mind through neural plasticity to strengthen the TPM, which turns off the DMN, as only one network can be active at one time.

I have also been fascinated with Michael Pollan's book, "How to Change Your Mind".  Through this book, I enjoy the stimulus and awakening of my quarter cup of coffee each morning.  At night, I have also tried a mild edible, which, I feel, diminishes my DMN and relaxes my mind.  

I can think of 3 active mental states. The morning coffee when I am writing or coding, focused on the task before me.  The mindful meditation when I focus on my senses and rich happenings before me.  The relaxed state, after an edible, with a deep calmness, when I passively allow life to pass through without trying to hold onto it, as when I grasp it, it slips through my fingers -- similar to the feeling of falling asleep.  

What I seek to avoid are the unnecessary anxiety about the future or regrets of the past. To replace these day dreams with that sense of being connected to people, to this world, and to all living beings.  

Lassen, Chickens, Civil Unrest, and Telephone Buddies

We drove up to Red Bluff to see Lisa, then the next day traveled up to Lassen National Forest for a short hike.   It was a pleasant change of pace.

I'm raising chickens.  There are tiny, but growing fast.

Millions of people have been protesting police brutality, over the death of George Floyd.

I started an Odd Fellows committee to connect people via telephone buddies.  I'm glad that a few people genuinely appreciate these connections.

Almost everyday, often more than once, I bike to downtown Davis and survey the stores and restaurants.  Often, I just buy a soda and sit in Central park.  I admire the families and groups that just hang out and am beginning to see their wisdom.  I'm reading the Path about Chinese philosophers for the modern age.  I'm learning to see the wisdom of ritual.

Mother's Day, Tennis, Backyard Gatherings, and Piano Lessons

We celebrated Mother's Day by biking to and walking the arboretum to downtown Davis, where we enjoyed a drink, before our return trip.  Caleb and Philip bought Nugget sandwiches and KFC, enough for both lunch and dinner.

The void of shelter at home continues... but some of the void has been filled with (1) weekend tennis with cousins; (2) backyard gatherings with extended family; (3) basketball with Eli and another family; and (4) online piano lessons.

Three weekends in a roll, we have driven to Kennedy to play tennis with David Lin, Dave Ching, Elyse, Caleb, Kreston, Aaron, Kayla, and others.

Twice, we have enjoyed our backyard, once with the Lins and another time with the Crockers and Lockes.   I enjoy this family time, just hearing background voices and feeling the acceptance of family.

My remaining time is filled with walking, bike rides, and online piano -- a new adventure the last 3 days.

Birthdays During Pandemics

Birthdays during pandemics are not fun.  At least, Caleb and Philip came home for Elias' Birthday.   It was nice to see them and celebrate.   We got a basketball hoop from our neighbors.  I tend to rest in parks and watch the clouds during shelter at home.

 
Caleb got a tentative offer to  work at CalTrans in their Bridge Engineering Department.   I am happy for him.

I don't know what to make of this crisis.  How will it change me?   It certainly makes me think, what do I want to do the rest of my life, because I am reminded that life is short, time is precious, and things can change quickly. 

Social Distancing in the age of COVID 19

I am overwhelmed with this phenomena -- a public health crisis like nothing I have every imagined.  Just as I was becoming comfortable meeting new people and creating new community, we (as a society) are forced to self isolate.   How long with this last?   

To keep my sanity, I go for walks, ride my bike, or relax at the park or around the fire pit.  I've been working in the yard and meditating at the window or at night, when I can't sleep.

When the weather is nice and I'm working from home, I move out to the backyard.

A simple highlight for today was seeing Cold Shot on Facebook.  Only a few weeks ago, I enjoyed hearing and dancing to this band at the local Davis venues.   So, it brought a smile to my face, when I saw their facebook video of their recent social distancing performance.  I immediately started dancing!   It was the highlight of my day! 

I certainly miss my coworkers, friends, and new friends at the Odd Fellows and meditation center.  I also miss the local music venues, UCD performances, and the local museum exhibits.  I miss driving around and going shopping.

Maybe there is light at the end of the tunnel, but for now, I take it one day at a time.

I wonder how this crisis will change societal norms, culture, dreams.   I wonder how this crisis will impact my own worldview of how I want to spend the remainder of my limited days.

Currently, I have been focused on the California State Payroll System.  For a fraction of the cost, I am sure my staff could build this project.   The project keeps my mind busy, or should I say, distracted -- during the crisis.

Prior defining moments of a generation include the Kennedy assassination, the moon landing, breaking down the Berlin wall, and 9/11.   The 9/11 era is over.  Will the great recession of 2008 only be a footnote to the COVID 19 pandemic?   Time will tell.   Until then, I need to make it through one more day...