Summer Blues, Dillon Beach

I have been exceptionally melancholy the last few days.  Whether a short phase or something much longer, its unclear how I should respond.  I feel as if I can cry at almost anytime, and while it is uncomfortable, at least I know I am alive.  Nothing in particular set if off, however, I have felt overwhelmed with parenthood recently.   Parenthood never seems to end. 

I had a nostalgic time at Rich Mourey's retirement gathering.  I especially liked seeing his Coast Guard housing, similar to housing at the Naval Postgraduate School. 

Our Felton cabin sold.  We moved on our anniversary.  Philip drove the U Hail back, while Pearl and I signed documents at escrow.   We have been seen so many houses in Roseville, Rocklin, Antelope, and West Sacramento -- as an exchange.
 

Our extend family trip to Dillon Beach was nice.  Everyone got along well.   Mae and Elias had a good time.   Caleb, Philip, Sarah, and Chris joined for at least part of the weekend.  I enjoyed the walks on the beach.  Katie and Mae played lots of Ping-Pong.  Pearl, Arlene, and Shirley made puzzles, while everyone watched Women's World Cup soccer.  We celebrated Philip's birthday.

We invited the Toy extended family over for July 4th. 

Melancholy blues ....   the mind is a tangled web.

Amusement Park Rides

In May 1997, I wrote the following about one day at Great America with Caleb.  Now the saga continues with MaeMae and Elias' first day on the big rides at Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk.

Caleb and I had a special day at Great America.  We arrived early and immediately hit the attractions.   It was a hot day, so we particularly enjoyed the “Gak” attraction, which left us totally soaked.   We walked/swam through that area twice.  Caleb is quite the daredevil.  He enjoys roller coasters, bumper cars, and the log rides.  I can’t believe he is only five years old.  I remember the “Days of Thunder” ride, which is a simulated stock car race.  There I sat gripping the safety restraints.  When I looked over at Caleb, he was just sitting there, comfortably.  I was rapt in the story line—imagining my life as a Dayton 500 race car drive.   To Caleb it was nothing more than a large TV screen and a vibrating chair.
 The shows were also interesting.  The first show we saw was about a boy, who gets trapped in cyberspace.   It’s definitely an M-TV production, geared toward my age group—Generation X.  It was full of 10 second music and movie clips from the 70s-80s, a laser show, smoke, and multi-media.  I sometimes wonder what M-TV’s impact will be on the attention span of the next generation.   Another show was about creating special effects in movies.  It was entertaining and informative. I was also amazed by Caleb’s boundless stamina.   We arrived early in the morning, yet stayed until the park closed.  Other than the admission price, we didn’t spend a dime.  I’m trying to teach Caleb that so called “convenience” food and beverages are actually a choice.  By preparing snacks, food, and beverages—we can avoid the higher cost associated with convenience. Overall, I enjoyed my day with Caleb.   He is a wonderful boy!

Now, 15 years later, Elias and MaeMae gets their first adventures on the 'big' rides.  The best part for me is that my days on rides are over, that baton passed on to Caleb and Philip to chaperon the little ones.

And for me, 15 years senior (and maybe not any wiser) a change of perspective.  Less on saving for the future, while more of appreciating life's small gifts of time together.

Summer Breezes

Summer is half over and it's been a good one.  With the diversion of work and frequent short vacations, I've gained a sense of contentment in my life.  I'm not sure if it's maturity, or gratitude, or my renewed focus on living in the moment--experiencing each sensation as if it were my first.

Short trips to the cabin have been a mainstay of our new routine.  It's not as if we do much there--eat, watch TV, relax.  But the short hikes, beach excursions, and exploration of tide pools makes for rich experiences.  We've had several months to explore the area.   I am amazed at the diversity--beach, tide pools, shops, forest, creek hikes, lakes--all within 15 minutes.

This past week, Pearl and the kids were in Tahoe.  My mom and I joined them for 2 days.  It has been years since my mom traveled.  She did well and enjoyed the reprieve from Sacramento heat.

The Cabin, Linsanity, and a place called Roeder Way

The Cabin: The middle ground is struck when the fantasy of perpetual vacationing meets the reality of home maintenance. The roofer job incomplete, while the storm arrives; the chimney exhaust fails in the middle of the night reigning fear and uncertainty. Yet, through it all is a sense of building something, not a fantasy, but real memories.

Identity: Overwhelmed by Linsanity reminds me of my captivity to racial identity. I am not above race, rather race defines who I am. And in this race and gender, I celebrate with the excitement and accomplishments of Jeremy Lin, who against the odds, believed in himself, when no one else would and continued to press on.

A Place Called Roeder Way: A farewell to Mr. Cook and with his passing I recall my childhood and many days with the Cook family. It was especially good to see Mrs. Cook, her voice and mind the same as I remember, but her age apparent. From Steven to Brad to Amelia to Tom, a glimpse into a life long passed that lives only in my childhood memories--a placed called Roeder Way.