We traveled to Mexico to visit the ancient ruins on a Caravan Tour. I'm glad everyone was available. We started in Mexico City, then drove East toward Cancun. The ancient ruins were amazing. I always ponder what caused these civilizations to collapse. My memories are taco stands, ruins, wrestling, hotel buffets, chicken soup, heat, rain, long bus rides, and quaint cities.

Piano and Soccer

I am grateful for piano and soccer.  I can easily spend a hour everyday playing the piano. Often, I bike ride to the local public pianos in town. On other occasions I play at the Odd Fellows Lodge and volunteer at local retirement homes. During COVID I learned on YouTube. Now, I subscribe to a couple of websites that teach piano songs.  Similarly, pick up soccer is a blast. It's great to play with FC Chill and the Purple AYSO adult league. I'm glad to share this time with Caleb and Philip. Both exercise and music is a true miracle drug for better sleep and mental health.  

Elias is going to Berkeley

Last week, we toured the campus.  Today was Cal Day.  Berkeley is filled with wonder. Eli is excited.  The College of Chemistry, Chemical Engineer, seems like a rigorous curriculum, with small college community (only a thousand students), inside a much larger prestigious university -- a good fit for Eli.  He saw many friends from Davis High, who are also going to UCB, some from his soccer team, and some even in his same major.  Yesterday, the Davis Enterprise published an article about his leadership on the DHS tennis team.  I am excited to see him challenge himself and grow.

 

Eli's Senior Year, Artificial Intelligence, Mexico, Piano, Retirement

Eli is in his last semester waiting to hear back from colleges. Tennis season started. Eli plays #1 or #2. Soccer re-started too. Eli is learning to drive. 

One of my AI stocks is going through the roof. I wonder if this is a bubble or a fundamental shift in the economy. 

We are planning a trip to Mexico in July. 

I still enjoy piano. I'm practicing about a hour a day. 

Wajohn is coming back to California. My AI portfolio is doing well. More than ever, I seem ready to retire. Maybe next year?

Malaysia and Cambodia

What an amazing trip!

Ready for Malaysia

Tomorrow, Eli and I are off to Malaysia with Steven and Matthew Ong.  I am excited for the adventure. It's an opportunity to reflect on this past season and consider retirement and next steps.  In some sense, I could imagine using my retirement to boast the community that I have grown to love and appreciate so much.  Game nights with extended family, joining a band, volunteering at Odd Fellows, coffee with friends....
Philip ran the CIM in 3 hours 19 mins.  It was fun to cheer him on at mile 18 and the conclusion.  I admire his dedication.  He trained so many hours and often drove to Davis early in the morning to run.  I could never imagine the discipline, but he has encouraged me to perhaps run a 5k.  

Darryl visited. It was good for the whole gang to get together for a couple of days. As I get older, I hope to show my appreciation for lift long friends. I hope we all go to Korea for our 60 birthdays.  As we get old, there will be a limited time for our health, interest, and friendship. 

Mae and I dressed up for Halloween and went to the Odd Fellows Party.  It was fun to dress up and dance!  

I was invited to Howie's birthday party. It was a wonderful evening. If I ever have a retirement party, I would like to follow the same formula.  I appreciate the many friends I have come to know at Odd Fellows.  We were all meant to Dance (and play soccer). 

Caleb has been great about purchasing Kings games.  It was fun to go with Chris and Ameya.  It's fund to watch the Kings on TV too.  I am a fan, Sacramento Kings!  

Playing pickup is a treasure.  Philip and Caleb often play and sometimes Eli too.  The exercise is vital for my health and mental well being.  I appreciate the many friends I have made on the soccer field.  We also joined an inaugural AYSO adult league.  Caleb, Philip, Ameya, Minh.  Go purple! 

I went to my 35th high school reunion.  Fun to see Philip, Sean, Laura, Robin, Corey, Gloria, Franny, Rick, Robert Lee, David K.

Eli is really good at tennis.  Four years on the varsity team.  He will likely play #2 or #3 on the team this year.  I am excited to watch him, our last one in high school.  He is applying for colleges now.  Soon, he will graduate and move away.

We had Thanksgiving at Chris and Leah's house.  

Life goes on...

Henry, Lisa, Pearl and I hang out more often now, whenever Lisa is in town. Hopefully, we will go to Korea when we are 60 years old.

T and Nguyen moved to Boston. We had our pickleball farewell celebration dinner. Chris Kim has been playing with us recently.

Wajohn moved to New Jersey. This was one of his last days at work. I am lucky to have work friends.

I am playing piano at the Lodge, several retirement homes, and public pianos. A woman bought me flowers at the co-op in appreciation. She called it her own private concert! It's become one of my escapes from reality, lol.

I bought Lisa's porsche, learning to drive stick again!

Retirement?

For the first time, I am considering a "real" retirement date -- April 2024. I'll be 59 years old. Eli will be finishing high school. Can I fill my time? Will I find purpose? Today, I am grateful to soccer, pickeball, piano, bike rides, family gatherings, Kings games, Quacera. I can imagine more time for Davis Bike Club, Old Fellows, Yoga, Music, Gym, and Sports. Would I join the Peace Corp or some other adventure? Would I take another job -- teaching at NAPS? Would I buy a house in Brettonwood? Am I good enough to be part of a music group or band? Loy passed away. Lisa and Edna have cancer. Ken is legally blind.

Kings Basketball, Pickup Soccer & Pickle ball, Rebekah Lodge

Pick up soccer, pickleball, piano, Kings Basketball games, Quacera, Odd Fellows, Rebekahs, work, and local live music events fill my calendar. It's nice to see Caleb and Philip regularly -- either at King's games, pick up soccer, or dropping by the house. Mae graduated and is working. Eli is a Junior in High School and plays tennis and AYSO soccer. Pearl enjoys working part-time as a 3rd grade teacher at North Davis Elementary School. I am learning to embrace both my joys and tears each day, to appreciate both, as they compliment each other.

I had a great time at the Odd Fellows Halloween Party, as Zoltar. I won the prize for best men's costume.

Work has been good. We finally had a reunion lunch together, after the COVID lockdown.

Mae graduated! She has been working at University Retirement Center for over a year now.

Christmas and the New Year has come and gone. We hosted both families this year.

Puerto Vallarta & Hawaii

Sometimes I am melancholy, tearful, with a deep sense of nostalgia.   At other times, I am content and even joyful.  I am developing some wonderful circles: Family, Odd Fellows, Pick-Up Soccer, Kings Games, My Senate Coworkers, Church, and Game & Poker nights.  Individually, I have enjoyed coffee, lunch, music, or games with friends: Thad, Chris, Rod, Steven.  

Pearl and I went to Puerto Vallarta with the Lins and Fongs.  

We also went to Hawaii and reconnected with Susan and Ed. It was funny to meet up with the Chings too in Hawaii.  In the summer, we'll host our families at Dillon Beach.  I have much to be grateful for, yet at times, I feel alone.  Most days I gravitate to coffee to kick start my morning.  In the evening, I sip an alcoholic beverage or small edible. Although I am quiet, I savor the background noise and buzz of being surrounded by people at Odd Fellows, King games, or family gatherings.  

I am lucky to see Philip and Caleb frequently at soccer, kings games, or family gatherings.  Eli still plays AYSO United and Philip coaches.  Tennis season started and Eli is doing well, while Mae works 3 nights a week at University Retirement Center.  

I am an officer in the Davis Rebekah lodge.  I enjoy serving on a team. 

Tennis, Bodega Bay, Baptism, New Orleans, Dillon Beach

 Both Mae and Eli played on the high school tennis team.   We had a short family vacation to Bodega Bay.  Caleb introduced Art, which is fun.  Eli was baptized.  I had a wonderful time in New Orleans celebrating John's retirement.  We hosted both sides of the family at Dillon Beach.  Odd Fellows and Brisk Morning Walkers reopened after COVID.  My nostalgia continues.  At times I can be sad, then in the next moment grateful.  

Retirement, Aging, Cohousing, Loneliness

I ponder the next state of life -- retirement and an empty nest.  Even before COVID, I suffered from melancholy feelings, mild anxiety and loneliness. The pandemic further fueled these questions about how to age gracefully. I recall my parents, in-laws, and friends' parents as they aged.  I wonder the best way to live these retirement years. My life has always been about building a career, providing for family, or saving for the future. To be honest, I am tired of responsibility. I question if our culture's "nuclear family" and "capitalism" leads to isolation for older adults in single family homes. Studies show how hard it is to develop new friendships as we get older.

During COVID, I found joy in playing board games, even with people I just met. I like being around people, the background noise of conversation, even if I am quiet by nature.  My new philosophy, which I hope to practice is to play, dance, sing, draw, create, participate -- and not worry about whether I am "good" enough.  

Currently, I am interested in cohousing--intentionally being connected to my neighbors in spaces designed to facilitate community.  The older people (leading the cohousing development) have time to share, whereas younger adults, still raising a family, are often too busy with day-to-day responsibilities. Our culture is immersed in productivity, that we can't simply be together -- as in our youth, I remember my teenage days "hanging out" in the motorhome with Henry and Darryl.  I wonder if co-housing can be like that again--although I know its no panacea.  It is the serendipitous daily encounter with neighbors in shared spaces designed to connect people. Those interested in cohousing seek community. 

Pearl has her reservations. Maybe cohousing can be our second home. Maybe we can split our time between Davis and West Sacramento.  While cohousing need not be permanent, it can be a valuable option that enhance our lives, just as the cabin served its purpose for many years.  

  

    

Careers, Yoga, Meaning

Simple yoga poses even if only for a few moments, help me break out of my mental prisons and focus on the real moment before me as I connect to my breath and body.  

Recently, I finished a video for the CDT on the California State Payroll System.  It seems like I have placed so much energy and belief in this process, yet I question the headaches of moving forward.  Is this a worthy mission?  How do these plans fit into retirement.  My job still occupies a good portion of my identity, whether this is good or bad, I am less sure.  

Existential Angst

I sometimes find it hard to look forward to the future.  Even before COVID, I struggled with finding meaning and joy in everyday events.  The many live music events I enjoyed in town were nothing more than a distraction -- a temporary smile highlighted by acquaintances and a good beer.  Now, socially isolated during a global pandemic, I occasionally enjoy a kava drink or low dose edible -- to escape my existential angst.  I ask... what is the meaning, what is the purpose?   All classic signs of mild depression.  

Sometimes, I can imagine a bright future of retirement, travel, new friendships.  At other times, I am just happy to make it through another day.